Marital Bliss Revived

post removed cuz .........
i so badly want to say "cuz i chose to" ... but i'm gonna stick with "cuz i was told to"
and, i guess
friendship must be honored.

Digressions Indeed - 3

Stream of consciousness timed for 10 minutes:

Alrite, so here we go. Eyes closed, hands on keyboard and I type away. ppl around me here in the library must wonder why i have my eyes closed but little do they know that i see flashbacks of various stories locked up in my head with my eyes closed ... black background for most of em ... in the dark ... they come in flashes of pink and blue for some odd reason ... sometimes in green and orange too ... orange .. ah the color i've been suggested many times by nears and dears that i should wear for my wedding ... orange they say goes well with gold ... apparently my skin is golden ... it's not brown brown ... it really isnt ... i am not fair brown ... i am golden brown ... i might have some chinese blood in me somewhere .. ya rite .. chinese with my eyes? ya rite. they do have nice skin ... hmmm my grandma's family's from burma ... hmm mebbe one of my ancestors was fooling around with a chinese woman on the burma china border ... is there a border there? man my geography is bad too. i need to educate myself ... but then i keep forgetting what i learn ... wut's the point of wasting time that i could use for sleeping ... sleeping makes me grow. physically. i need one more inch. one inch is all i ask for. will i grow now? no i wouldnt. why did i ask to be only 5 inches taller than mom :(? i asked for five and i got five. i remember when i made that wish. mom was washing dishes and she told me to dry em and put em on the shelf . i was in grade 7 then i think and i was still shorter than her. then as a kid would have it, i prayed that i be five inches taller than mom so that i can reach the shelves nice and easy ... and it did come true .... i am five inches taller than mom ... but one more inch wouldnt have hurt ... oh well. life goes on. i remember though how i was shorter than all my friends in Grade 7 and i used to have an inferiority complex and two years later, i was 5 inches taller than all ha ha .. wut a satisfaction ... anyway, i miss rain. it's been a while since it rained. snow's cool too but i miss rain. i miss standing at my window and watching it pour. the grass gets greener every second. it keeps getting greener until it stops raining. i feel cleansed myself ... maybe i don't like pollution .. screw maybe ... i don't like pollution ... talking about pollution, i went out with a friend out of city (calgary) a few days ago .... on the outskirts of calgary, there is a lot of construction going on ... considering the population explosion in alberta, it's asked for .... anyway, this construction ... i hated it! ugh! i want the open wide spaces back! as we drove out, the wide open spaces were back in view but i wanted more of them .... i have gotten accustomed to open lands and no people. i dont like poeple anymore. only people i like are on televison. i can shut em off when i've had enough of them. does that make me evil am i evil? nah i'd call myself an observer. i like to observe. i like to sit abck and observe people. ppl on tv are the best to observe. they don't know that i am staring at them. ppl in real life find out if i stare at them. starings's impolite. that reminds me of an incident on c train ... this indian dude (fresh from india) was staring at a group of young teenagers and of course they got upset and were almost gonna beat him up when i had to interfere and tell them to back off ... cuz the poor dude prolly didnt realize that he was being offensive ... perhaps staring is OK from where he comes from ... thankfully, kids understood and my brown friend went his mighty way after thanking me in a language i haven't yet figured out. i think he did say 'thank you. or that's what i think ... hmm. time up!

A morning with the Swift Dude

aite, i wrote a play too ... yep im on a roll, dude, im on a roll! hahaha here:

NIKKI and MATT sit at their family dining table in the kitchen nook. Nikki is in her early 20s. She wears a white robe over a black t-shirt and black pyjamas. Matt, in his teens, sits to Nikki’s right, and he is dressed in a red sweatshirt and black sweatpants. Both of them are barefoot. The walls of the nook are painted beige but they almost look white because of the sun that shines into the room through the window opposite where Matt’s seated. Nikki is drinking coffee in a white mug and reading a newspaper. Matt is staring into space, obviously thinking about something serious. A digital clock on the wall behind Nikki reads ‘Sun 10:00 AM’.

MATT I read the assignment sitting on your desk.

NIKKI (quits shuffling through the newspaper and looks at Matt, who is leaning back in his chair and looking out the window) What assignment?

MATT The one you have to write on the Swift dude.

NIKKI Pray tell why you were going through my stuff?

MATT I wasn’t going through your stuff on purpose. I was looking for an eraser.

NIKKI (puts the paper down, lifts her mug, puts it to her lips, and looks at Matt) Lost your stationary again?

MATT Not really. I lied.

(Pause)

(Nikki continues to look at Matt expecting him to say more.)

MATT I shuffled through your desk because I wanted to see the paper you were working on.

NIKKI (raises eyebrows while looking at Matt) What for?

MATT ‘Cuz I heard you talk about it to Amy.

NIKKI What about it?

MATT As in how you had hit a writer’s block and your brain wasn’t coming up with any decent ideas for the paper.

NIKKI (sounds surprised) You eavesdrop into my conversations?

MATT Hey! It’s not my fault that my hearing is fine enough to hear you talk to your stupid friends when you are sitting rite across the couch from me.

NIKKI That doesn’t give you the right to go through my personal belongings though, does it?

MATT Ok I am sorry but I was curious. I thought I could help.

NIKKI (puts down the coffee mug and starts laughing) Help? You are barely fifteen and still in Grade 11. What would you know of Jonathan Swift and his satire?

MATT Well, I read it and did some research on it.

NIKKI (surprised) You read it? You mean to say you read Jonathan Swift’s A Modest Proposal?

MATT Yep.

NIKKI (still surprised, her right hand to her mouth, she observes Matt closely) What is it about?

MATT The dude suggests that Irish eat their own babies.

NIKKI (beginning to ease a little) And you think he was serious?

MATT No, according to my research, it is a satirical essay written to wake the lazy Irish folks up to get their ass to work before they would have to sell their babies for a living. It is logically a very sound argument though. Besides the gross factor, there is nothing in it that you can argue against. He gives sound justifications for everything he suggests.

(Nikki is speechless.)

MATT (sits up to look at her) Your coffee is getting cold.

NIKKI How did you know that?

MATT You haven’t touched it in a while … of course, it’s getting cold.

NIKKI Not the coffee, silly, I meant A Modest Proposal.

MATT (laughs and leans back again) I told you. I did my research.

NIKKI (cringing her eyes and shaking her head) What FOR?

MATT To help you.

NIKKI Help ME?! (laughs) Who’s almost finished University? You or me? I think that would be ME, Mr. Grade 11! And you think you’d be able to help ME?! (laughs) Do you even know what satire is? You probably just memorized whatever you said off some website.

MATT (sits up again) Satire refers to written works that use sarcasm and wit to point out flaws in whatever they are written about.

NIKKI What website did you memorize that off?

(Smiling, she lifts her coffee mug and puts it to her lips while still looking at Matt. He doesn’t move.)

MATT You really think I am stupid huh?

NIKKI Not stupid. Just …… young.

MATT Being young doesn’t mean I am stupid and I cannot understand what you can.

NIKKI I never said that. I just don’t think that you would go to the extent of reading someone like Jonathan Swift’s literary piece and spending time with it just so that you can help me.

MATT Why? Young people can’t help others?

NIKKI Fine! Help me! Tell me how I can relate it to today’s world so that I can write a ten-page paper on it!!

MATT Are you sure you want my help?

NIKKI (rolls her eyes) S-u-u-u-re. We’ll see how helpful you really are.

MATT (chuckles) Don’t try me. (pause) You wanna place a bet?

NIKKI Bet on what?

MATT If I can help you or not?

NIKKI What kind of a sick game is this? You are enjoying this, aren’t you? Forget it, I don’t need your help. I am better off without it.

MATT Alright. You are missing out on an extremely innovative idea though.

NIKKI I don’t care.

MATT Good.

(He leans back in his chair again, smiles to himself obviously very pleased with himself and whistles.)

NIKKI Stop it. You are annoying me.

MATT It’s only a whistle. You are annoyed ‘cuz you know you want to know the ‘idea’. You’re just pretending to not want to know.

NIKKI (exasperated, she gives in) Do I really HAVE a choice? Ok fine, do tell …

MATT (smiling to himself even more) Say please.

NIKKI (mockingly) Pleeeeaaase Mattie Pleeeaaase. Jeez.

MATT (laughs and sits up to face her) Ok then, listen to the genius. The Swift dude just wanted Irish people in those times to be aware of the economic condition their laziness was getting them into. He basically wanted them to start working or else be ruined, correct?

NIKKI (listens attentively) Yes.

MATT Writing about eating babies would shock people ...

NIKKI … and shock, in some cases, in helpful in curing mental illnesses.

MATT Exactly. That’s what this was about. Laziness was a mental issue with the Irish working class back then. Swift wrote what he did to shock them out of it.

NIKKI Hmm.

(She holds on to her mug as if trapping its heat into her hands.)

MATT Now that I know why he wrote it, I am curious if someone would write a piece like that in today’s day and age, and get it published?

NIKKI (deep in thought) Why not?

MATT ‘Cuz there is enough gore in real world as it is to have more crap like this be published.

NIKKI That is the whole point though. To remind the real world of the gore that it is indulging itself into.

MATT Would you be able to write something like that?

NIKKI Why not?

MATT You are not worried that people would read it and take it on its face value without trying to look for true underlying intention?

NIKKI Hmm underlying intention? Big words huh. (She sips on her coffee and smacks her lips.)

MATT You are digressing.

(He is thoroughly enjoying being in control.)

NIKKI Yeah, ok, I don’t think I would get it published but I don’t have a problem writing a satirical piece for my class assignment. That would be really interesting but what would I possibly write about?

MATT Oooh I have plenty of ideas for that. In today’s world, you have a lot more at your disposal than just the babies. (laughs)

NIKKI (gasps) That was evil!

MATT No, c’mon think about it. Let’s say, if someone, example Nikki, were to write today on the same lines as Swift did back in the day, what would replace something as nasty as eating babies?

NIKKI (cautiously) Babies were disposable and a burden on society back then, what is a burden on our society today? What can we do away with to benefit the society on a whole?

MATT Aged?

NIKKI That’s true!

MATT Homeless?

NIKKI (excitedly) Yeah!

MATT Disabled?

NIKKI (A smile begins to form on her lips) Them too.

MATT Terminally ill patients?

NIKKI Interesting. But how can we sell them? We don’t own them.

MATT We don’t need to own them. Government could design a program where their families get reimbursed if they surrender themselves

NIKKI Who would want diseased meat though?

MATT Yes, I thought about that too …

(Nikki looks impressed.)

MATT … and then I decided that they could be burnt for fuel.

NIKKI Hmm it would help keep fuel costs low.

MATT That would work.

NIKKI That definitely would.

MATT Ok, so write about it.

(He chuckles and leans back in his chair with a satisfied smile on his face.)

NIKKI Wow, it could actually work. I cannot believe this came out of you!!

MATT Not again. I thought we just proved that I am not a dumbass that you make me out to be.

NIKKI I do?

MATT Of course you do. Calling me young and all.

NIKKI Isn’t that true though? You are young! That doesn’t mean I don’t trust you to be smart!

MATT That’s not what you said after we took that IQ test last week.

(Awkward pause)

NIKKI Is that what this is about?

(Pause)

(Matt does not move.)

NIKKI It is, isn’t it?

(Pause)

(Nikki takes a deep breath, lets out a sigh, smiles to herself while shaking her head and looking at the mug in her hands.)

NIKKI You took all this trouble to prove to me that you are not stupid?

(Pause)

(Matt still does not move.)

NIKKI (looks up at Matt lovingly) I was only kidding when I called you stupid. I am sorry. I should’ve known better. You did excellent for your age! 125 is not a joke. It is an above average score, you know that? Only about 6.7% people have it.

MATT (looks down at his hands) Then why did you call me stupid in front of your friends?

NIKKI I was only joking, silly. I am sorry. It won’t happen again.

MATT It’s ok.

NIKKI Aww come here, let me give you a hug.

(She gets up, goes over to his chair and wraps her arms around him. He responds with a warm smile. She goes back to sit in her chair.)

MATT So would I ever be able to score what you did?

NIKKI 158? Are you kidding me? You are too young for that.

(She chuckles and starts shuffling through the newspaper while Matt looks at her with an amused and a baffled expression.)

(Lights fade)

Amour contemporain

(alrite!! so i did it. i wrote a short story!!! heheh...here goes>>>)



Knight Rider has just signed in.

Ria’s eyes lit up as a blue rectangular box – encasing approximately 2 square inch area at the bottom right of her computer monitor screen – popped up from an unknown land down under, carrying the message of Knight Rider’s virtual arrival. She was reacquainted with him by a mutual friend, Shelly, after a long gap of 12 years. In the meantime, he had moved to the distant land of Kenya, Nairobi to be specific, and she was still enjoying the temporary warm relief Chinook occasionally provided from the cold in Calgary. Their conversations over the electronic medium grew from casual how-are-you(s) to I-love-you(s) in no time. They found themselves collectively reminiscing in the past they had together. The childhood that they shared for 10 years guided their emotions.

How are you, love?

A message in red font flashed across the screen in Knight Rider’s MSN messenger window. Ria’s heart skipped a beat as usual.

Been missin you, she typed in blue ending the sentence with a sad smiley that she has Microsoft to thank for.

Aw I wish I could hug u ‘n make it all better, the red font blinked back.

Just a hug?, blue responded.

If wishes were horses .., said red.

Ria could relate to the dismay expressed.

Her skin tingled in the want of being touched by him. He said all the right things exactly when she wanted to hear them but it was not enough. Physical presence had become necessary now. She hadn’t even seen his photograph in the entire year that they conversed for over the internet. She didn’t want to. Her memories of him from their childhood were vivid enough to keep her company in loneliness. Although she did wonder at times what he must look like now after all these years. He probably is 6 feet tall; he was a tall kid for his age back in the day. Would he still be able to beat her at table tennis? Does he still have that charismatic smile? Is he still the center of attention amongst the group of his friends? ...

Ria? U there?

… The red message derailed her train of thoughts with a sudden jolt. Nothing else matters, she assured herself, I love him for his personality.

Yes, I’m here baby.

O good cuz I wanted to tell u sumthin about my next week

Next week?

Ria wasn’t sure what to expect.

Yeh next week. Im gonna be in Calgary next Friday, u think u could take out a few mins for me?

She couldn’t breathe.

Ria? You didn’t answer

I am here, Vik. Just tryin to get a hold of myself. Yer really comin down?

Down? Comin west more like it haha

When did you decide this?

Been working on it for a few weeks now … wanted to keep it as a surprise but figured now that it’d be best to tell you

You figured well.

Hmm Ria … you don’t sound too pleased

No no Vik, nothing like that … just a bit shocked … surprised, you see.

Alrite darlin

So he was finally coming over.

Her stomach tied up in knots. Fingers didn’t want to type anymore. Eyes froze staring at the red font. Head started sending out migraine warnings.

Vik, I need some time to myself.

I can understand babe but don’t worry, everything will be alrite. We will be together! Soon!

I can’t wait either, hun, can’t wait a single minute.

She couldn’t assess whether she was bluffing him or her own self.

Oh another thing before you leave, Ria … I just emailed you my recent fotoes … I am sorry I’ve been lazy all along but I finally got a hold of some … do check ‘em before you come pick me up just so u can recognize me haha I look nothing like I did 14 years ago :p …haha I told you before, didn’t i?

He emailed photos? All of a sudden, she didn’t have any desire to move any muscle in her body. She had to respond though.

Yes, you mentioned and of course, I’ll recognize you Vik … I do have a vague memory of what you look like.

I know babe … am just playin with ya … oh I am so excited about this visit! Can’t wait to take you in my arms and tell you how much I love you.

She didn’t flinch like she used to a few hours ago.

Aww is all she could muster for his benefit.

Hmm Ria, you don’t sound too good. You should get some rest and I’ll stop bugging you. Will chat with you tonight and yeh, before I forget …I’ll also email you my itinerary … keep an eye out for it … Bye for now.

Goodbye Vik.

The following message could not be delivered to all recipients:
Goodbye Vik.

Knight Rider appeared to be offline.

She signed out of MSN messenger as well without checking her email.

Digressions Indeed - 2 - On Perfection

He says I am perfect but perfect I am not. I have flaws that no one else can probably see but then I have positives that I can never see. Nevertheless, perfect I am not ... perfect for him perhaps ... what is perfection anyway? Everyone has a different definition of perfection. What deems perfect to me is certainly not what is perfect for my sister ... let that alone, what deemed perfect to me 8 years ago is definitely not perfect for me today. Circumstances change, people change, outlook changes, perspectives change ... no wonder the cliche' "time is the best healer" came about ... time does bring about an ample change ... time does help in filling wounds too ... although the filling is seldom permanent ... it's mostly like the filling in my brother's molars ... always is out every 6 months ... now he has to get rid of his tooth altogether ... has to get it pulled out ... same with wounds life inflicts ... time does heal them but it's best to just get the source of the trouble out of the system/life ... hmmm i digress.

Perfection ... is ... a ... state ... of ... mind. Perfection is something that satisfies my ego. Seeing perfection in someone is a subtle display of my naricissm. On a positive note, perfection is what I see when I fall in love with someone's imperfections. Imperfections deem perfect and the perfections were always perfect ... That must mean that if someone calls me perfect, they see imperfections in me that seem perfect to them ... I am curious to know about those imperfections ... I want to make them more imperfect so that I can live up to the expectations of perfection. I am rambling.

Perfectly Imperfect is who I am ... is who I want to be ... is who I always will be ... but he says I am perfect ... perfect I am not.

Digressions Indeed - 1

hmm im gonna do this free-writing exercise for 10 minutes. write any bullshit that's in my head. time starts NOW. why isnt my fone ringing? it should've rang an hour ago. it hasn't rang still. i gotta stop staring at it. maybe it'll ring then. i need to hear from wendy. need to! if i don't, then who am i gonna have lunch with? i'd have to stay home and eat with brother. yuck. nah, he's cute. especially since he got his hair cut. now he looks human. hmm he is growing taller everyday. it'd be funny if i have to get up on a ladder just to talk to him. nah, he aint that tall .. or is he? i must measure him today haha. he won't let me. wut a goof. i love him. aww. hmm feel like having milk. when do i not feel like having milk? do i drink too much milk? but it's so darn good. how can i not? milk and oatmeal cookies hmmm..yummm. i could use rooh-afza and cold milk too rite now .. the pink color brings back fond memories .. daadi used to make it for me everytime i came back from school .. wut a thirst quencher .. milk with rooh afza .. my fascination with milk has been going on for years now, has it not ... wut would i be like if i hadnt drank as much milk as i have .. ah those days when daadi used to feed me yogurt .. one spoon after i run around the lawn once .. one spoon if i go touch the front door .. one spoon if i go to the roof .. up the stairs and back ... hmm it was healthy .. i miss daadi .. she'll be here soon but she's old now .. i'll have to take care of her. i want to take care of her. i want to feed her yogurt too just like she did when i was little. hmmm. my mommy's the best. she made me methi di roti this morning. woke up at 6 just so that she could feed me. aww. nothing beats a mother's love, does it. despite whatever, she loves me and i love her too .. in a strange funky kind of a way. i miss dad. hmm strange but i miss dad. three more days. i won't have to chauffer mommy around after that. daddy would be back to drive her around. i don't think i would miss the chauffering job. it was a pain in the butt. quite literally speaking. i am hungry again. naani's calling. it's nice to have her over too. it'd be a big reunion in a few days. all the elders :) huddling around me to feed me. oh i love food. i'd love anyone who gives me food. thank you grocers. thank you farmers. thank you soil. thank you sun. thank you god. thank you cashier at sobeys. thank you cart-dude. thank you honda folks for the CRV. thank you petro canada for the gas. thank you zora uncle for teaching me to drive. thank you various music artists who accompany me in the crv everyday as i go places to feed myself. thank you kelseys, boston pizza, moxies for being my pit spots in this tireless drive aka life. three more minutes to go. im listening to Ginuwine's I love you more everyday .. aww how nice. what girl wouldn't want that? i do too .. hmm deep deep deep down somewhere .. somewhere beneath this apparently nonchalant facade. that's where the vulnerabilities hide .. deep deep down .. gotta turn 'em into strengths .. love and let love. gotta let it go let it go let it go. ah screw it, song changed .. now im in a different mood altogether .. "just chill" ughhhhhh who downloaded this? must be the sister. HATEEEEEE the word CHILL!!!! ugh. gotta change song but not for a bit ... not until i am done 10 minutes here ... almost there ... almost there ... ok, enough, i can't take this nonsense of a song they dished out as "music". JEEZ. gotta stop typing. gotta change song. here i go. ta!

(uncle kracker's follow me is the winner)
thx k :