Dependency ...

... has been one of the most feared concepts across all eras ... ancient to modern ... if Shakespeare derided love as a form of dependency, modern day writers don't shy away from writing verses like Since you been gone, I can breathe for the first time. I understand that's not the most apt example to be compared to Shakespeare but it's the thought that I am focused on. Nothing has changed. We, as a human race, still fear dependency just as much, if not more, as centuries ago.

The more I try to attach myself to someone, more I find myself detached. I'm scared ... scared that I might end up setting expectations from the person I'm getting dependent on, and those expectations might not be met and I'll be hurt. Exactly what Shakespeare would've predicted in his era: love = dependency --> expectations --> deceit --> heartbreak. Considering that, it's only logical that dependency must be feared if one wants to maintain his/her personal peace. Dependency must be avoided if you don't want to risk getting hurt but is that worth living? Are we not supposed to be social animals who maintain positive as well as negative interactions with other animals in the tribe to survive? Then, why fear hurt, and, in turn, dependency? Why not let others depend on us and let ourselves depend on others? Why can't humans evolve to grow together as a unit as opposed to the current trend of individualism? Is there any genetic incapability? Did evolution fail us?

Whatever the case, I wish I had someone who could say to me that he/she would take care of me and actually make that come true without me feeling obligated to return the favor. I wish I could let myself be pampered without allowing my individualism to step in the way. I wish I didn't feel vulnerable when I tell someone that I am dependent on him/her. I wish there was someone who wouldn't remind me of my independence if I were to admit to my dependence on him/her. I wish I could love someone enough to be dependent on him and not be held back by what he and the world might perceive as my vulnerability. Alas, I know that will never be the case ... but I wonder why? Was I conditioned by the society to be an opinionated, independent woman? or Like I asked earlier, is it the genes?