rude, i am

why the fuck do i always piss people off? why can't my so-called friends tell me when i am rude? why are they so accepting of my rudeness? so accepting that i am friggin used to criticizing as i feel, when i feel, and not worry about the consequences!! today, ONCE AGAIN, it happened. i criticized someone in public ... someone close to me ... in public .... but i never realized the repercussions involved. i never do! fuck fuck fuck. honestly, i say things cuz i feel like saying them but never do i realize the impact they might have. maybe i should care but i don't. why the fuck not? what's wrong with me? why do i spit it out as i feel it and not give other person's feelings a consideration? well, i say what i feel and expect the other person to refute my arguments with something reasonable or accept my assertions with grace rather than be offended .. but u know what? THAT's NOT HOW THE WORLD WORKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! people take offence!!!!! people get hurt!!!! smarten up, idiot, smarten up. (that was for me) fuck, i need a break! out.