Lately, I’ve been more than enamoured with the splendid colours of fall that have engulfed Calgary, like it does every year, during this time of year. Strange as it may sound, this is the first time since I’ve been here that I actually appreciate fall. Dead leaves sweeping the newly paved road lined with yellowing trees on both sides is sure a sight worth driving at the posted speed limit for a change. Even the hills by my house, which I am habitual of driving by without much notice, today boast of beautiful shades of brown and yellow that leaves me awestruck every time I make an effort to ‘check the hills out’. Yep, nature has won; I am impressed.
Fall, precedent to the dark and gloomy winter, has always been a saddening affair for me. Never did I look at the beauty it brought with it. Never did I consider the effect a fallen leaf might have on me. Never did I acknowledge an end to be a part of life. I’ve often heard that all good things come to an end; summer comes to an end too with the onset of fall, which in itself, now I notice, is a mesmerizing experience. As usual, this brings me to my topic of discussion for today – what is happiness? How is it that something that once made you sad can make you happy in a different circumstance? Like a dear friend of mine tells me time and again, “You can’t be happy because you don’t want to be happy”. Unfortunately, I have to agree. The only means of survival for people like me, ‘unhappies’ as I like to call us, is to feed off negative energy around us. Listening to music at all times – preferably the blues, reading tragic literary pieces, expecting the worse in everyone around us, letting pessimism take full control of our lives are some of the generic characteristics of us unhappies.
Since I have long accepted the fact that I am an unhappy, I’ve been exploring the road to happiness because I am rather bored of the unhappy world. My first and only analysis on the road to discovery of happiness, though still unproved in the world of science, is that happiness is only a perception. Happiness is what your mind makes you believe. If we view everything we might venture upon in the course of life with a positive attitude and an optimistic mindset, we are happy else the membership of the clan of unhappies is always free. We’ve more than often encountered the term ‘move on’ in our lives; what exactly is moving on? How do we move on? We move on by choosing to forget the negatives or the wrong doings that might have happened to/with us and focus on the positives in what life has to offer for now. Why can’t we do that all the time? Instead of letting probability of negative results bogging us down, we could just as easily concentrate on a positive result and work towards it without feeling tensed or strained like we normally do.
Some argue that being excessively positive leads to high expectations and hence, if in case the expected results are not achieved, it results in more hurt than it would have otherwise. But isn’t that what we derive our strength from? Our failures. A man/woman who hasn’t failed in life hasn’t lived. Why fear failure if we truly intend to live and not just exist? Failures are the biggest teachers in life; we get hurt once and next time, we wouldn’t feel as bad if put in a similar situation again. Fair enough? Plus why worry about something we can’t even control? None of us even know if we’ll be alive tomorrow. It is quite possible that my sister or my brother might murder me in my sleep tonight. You never know. (err that was a joke but you get my point)
I vow today that I will only listen to happy Elmo, Barney type tunes from now onwards. I will only eat home cooked food and appreciate it from the bottom of my heart. I will spend 5 minutes with nature every day upcoming winter to appreciate its freezing beauty. YAAAAA RITE! Sabar Koti rocks, dudes and dudettes! If you have no idea what I am talking about, skip this para, next one’s waiting for you. Sabar Koti’s new album Hanju is – I can’t find words – boy he is GOOD! Beautifully written songs (by whoever) and sung even better (by Koti of course). Mesmerizing! Even sufiana music doesn’t move me to the extent Koti’s two songs ‘Hanju’ and ‘Yaad’ do. Therefore, they ought to be GOOD considering that I am pretty darn crazy about sufi lyrical delights. True that the aforementioned two songs are depressing but but but but ……………. they give me a reason to appreciate what I do have err I think :|. My friends would disagree and push me back into the unhappy club of unhappies. :( Ah, I can care less. GO SABAR! Hail the King Koti of unhappies! May you rule now and forever! I digress.
Ahem back to realism, please pray for me that I learn to accept life with its ups and downs, learn to not let negativities around me bring me down and learn to focus on the positives in my life whilst working towards an optimistic future. In case of failure, please pray for me that I have the strength to handle it and carry on as a better person from having learnt some valuable lessons that only life can impart. Please pray for me that I have strength of character, conviction, integrity, humility, modesty, and above all, compassion for everything that breathes. Please pray for me that I learn to appreciate fall even more and learn to appreciate winter while I am at it. Amen. Thank you. I shall say this prayer every night before retiring to bed. Some of you might write it off as ‘funny crap’ (rite?) but it truly works, at least for me, in achieving the ultimate goal in life for me – happiness. So, umm in layman terms, bugger off. :p
All that aside …………
Saade haase saaton russ gaye ne
Hanjuaan naal pai gayi yaari ni
Jeehda duniya te koi daru na
Aisi tu laayee bimaari ni
Fatt rissde taan aseen rok laye
Dhadkan da rukna baaki e
Jeehde vich teri yaad payi
Dil kadh ke suttna baaki e
Courtesy: Sabar Koti’s song Yaad
Damn! Can the song get any better? It twists up my insides in knots – especially listening to Koti’s god blessed incredibly tragic voice. I hope I can at least write that well one day because singing is surely an impossible task this lifetime heh.
On a final note …
Saada haal vekh ke ro paye
Fir ronde ronde tutt gaye
Aseen jadd vee ni taariyaan di loye baithe aan
Tainu ki dassiye …. Tainu ki dassiye
Aseen dhur andar takk leeraan hoye baithe aan
Tainu ki dassiye …………
Once again, I digress.
Incoherent Digressions Indeed.
